Hi friends,

With the slowing down of summer heat, I feel called to rev up and reach out—especially amidst a cynic’s storm of gloom out there. I am a hopeful person because I am an artist, and maybe the world needs to hear more of that, so hello again!

There has been a lapse in this newsletter. As the kids say, life has been life-ing, but I’m back and ready to reconnect. I have just finished another album (!) and will update you when I have more details of its release. Until that moment, I want to commit to weekly writing paired with my re-discovered love for Polaroids and their clunky, illusory process. I’ll be calling them Slow Pictures. Here is #1.

In trying to commit myself to writing and sharing weekly, I’m thinking a lot, about this thing called s t r u c t u r e.

How I deeply avoid it.

How I deeply desire it.

How I must admit, I do need it to get things done.

About a month ago, I officiated a wedding for beloved friends. Their theme was “Full Moon Nuptials.” The setting was a botanic sculpture garden in the Catskills, with ethereal touches imagined by the artist-bride and musician-groom. I was overjoyed to preside over their ceremony (my first time) and just generally left feeling rejuvenated by their friendship and love.

As the Full Moon was in the sign of Capricorn—a sign known for its discipline and sturdy mountain goat ascent to reach every goal—I wrote words honoring their commitment as a structure that could offer them newfound freedom. What a concept!

And so, still, I am wondering about this,

How can structure offer us freedom?

How can life’s constraints give us our shape or direction?

What creation can come from my own unknowing and fumbling and stopping and starting, and sharing?

As a creative out-putter with copious ideas and yet not enough resources of time or money to execute and deliver as often as I desire, I am forced into creating by the walls of these constraints. One could call them my influences.1 I’m intimately aware of what I can and cannot do. But to that end, I know that the roadblocks offer me something, too. They are the fibers, knots, and threads of my life story as it continues to unfold, 35 years and counting.

I’m also aware that I’ve always struggled with structure and discipline, especially as a kid of divorce. I sort of made it up in my extreme compassion-less, childlike way, much of what I am currently unlearning. I’ve grown a lot in ways I hadn’t expected in the last few years, and with that, there has been a deep desire growing again to make space to share my own work again.

So, reader, that’s what brings me to you! I hope you’ve been well. I hope the rest of this July brings you close to bodies of water, whether that be internal wells of the heart or cool, wet refineries gifted to you by mother nature. Whether you are inside or outside, I hope you’ve welcomed the slowing down of summer and made space for hope. Whether it’s by digging into the juiciness of writing, painting, listening to new or old music, being outside, singing, dancing, or just generally embodying some sense of freedom within your precious life.

Talk soon,

XO

Nellen

P.s. Many of you have been on this email list for years. I am grateful you’re still here to support whatever this creative life calls for in me. That said, if you ever need to unsubscribe, please know I understand and wish you all the best.